Making sure the money you send home pays for your parent's care

A common problem, and an uncomfortable one

Nigerians abroad send billions of dollars home every year. Central Bank of Nigeria figures reported in 2026 put diaspora remittances at about $21.8 billion in 2025. A large share goes to supporting parents.

Almost every family we speak to can tell a story of money that did not reach the person it was meant for. On Reddit's Nigeria forum, people describe relatives who 'lied about sicknesses' and even one who got a doctor to write fake medical bills. It is painful to talk about, especially when the person handling the money is a brother, sister, aunt or the parent themselves.

The research backs this up. The WHO estimates that around 1 in 6 people aged 60 and over experienced some form of abuse in the past year, with financial abuse affecting about 7 in 100. A 2025 study in rural Edo State found much higher rates among the older people it surveyed, with the person's own children the most common abusers, followed by house helps and caregivers. It was one small study, but the pattern is familiar to many Nigerian families.

Why elderly parents give money away

Sometimes the problem is not someone taking money, but your parent giving it away. Families search for how to stop an elderly parent giving money away more than almost anything else on this topic. Common reasons:

• Generosity and duty: many Nigerian parents have always supported relatives, church members and neighbours, and continue to
• Pressure from people around them, who know money arrives from abroad
• Loneliness, which makes them more trusting of new 'friends' who visit often
• Scams, including calls and messages asking for help or promising returns
• Early memory problems or dementia, which affect judgement. AARP notes that falling for scams, and late or duplicate payments, can be early signs

If the giving is new, out of character or leaves your parent without food, medicines or bills paid, take it seriously and arrange a doctor's check-up as well as practical changes.

Signs of financial abuse to watch for

• Bills unpaid even though you sent enough to cover them
• Money running out faster than it should, with no clear explanation
• Your parent without basic things, such as food, medicines or electricity
• Requests for urgent money for medical bills you cannot check
• New people around your parent who seem very interested in their money
• Pressure on your parent to sign documents, sell property or change a will
• Valuables or documents going missing
• Your parent seeming anxious, secretive or afraid when money is mentioned

The US National Institute on Aging advises families who live far away to ask a trusted friend or neighbour to drop by unannounced, which is often the quickest way to see what is really happening.

Practical ways to protect the money

None of these steps mean you distrust your family. They protect everyone, including the relative doing the hard work on ground, from suspicion later.

• Pay hospitals, pharmacies and care providers directly, by transfer, whenever you can
• Ask for invoices and receipts in the provider's name, for anything over a small amount
• Before paying a large medical bill you have only heard about second hand, call the hospital or doctor yourself and ask for the bill
• Agree a fixed monthly amount for food and small costs, and ask what it was spent on
• Keep the helper's or caregiver's pay separate from household money, and pay them directly on a fixed date
• Never let large sums pass through the person being paid
• Share oversight between two people, for example one sibling who pays and another who checks
• Keep important documents, such as land papers, in a safe place that one trusted person controls

Sending money to Nigeria in 2026

Use banks or licensed international money transfer operators only, never informal arrangements you cannot trace.

The rules changed recently. Under a Central Bank of Nigeria circular dated 24 March 2026, which took effect on 1 May 2026, licensed international money transfer operators must settle transfers through naira accounts at Nigerian banks. In practice, this means money your parent receives through these services is paid in naira, not dollars. The earlier Naira 4 Dollar incentive, which paid an extra ₦5 for every dollar received, ended in 2023.

For care costs, the safest pattern is to send money straight to the provider's Nigerian bank account, or pay by card where the provider accepts it, rather than through a relative.

What a power of attorney can and cannot do in Nigeria

Families in the UK often hear about a Lasting Power of Attorney, which lets someone manage a person's affairs if they lose mental capacity. Nigeria does not have the same thing.

A power of attorney does exist in Nigeria and can be used, for example, for property matters, but under Nigerian law it usually ends if the person who gave it dies or loses mental capacity. That means it is not a long-term solution for a parent with advancing dementia. If you need to manage a parent's money or property, take advice from a Nigerian lawyer early, while your parent can still take part in decisions.

Talking to your parent and your family

• Raise it gently and privately with your parent, and focus on keeping them safe rather than on blame
• Agree as siblings who pays for what, and how you will all see where the money goes
• Be open with the relative on ground about why you want receipts. Most people prefer clear records, because it protects them too
• If you suspect abuse by a relative or caregiver, get someone you trust to visit, speak to your parent alone, and take advice before confronting anyone

How Home Care Nigeria helps

You pay us directly, by card or bank transfer, and we pay our caregivers ourselves on a fixed date each month. No money for care passes through your parent, your relatives or the caregiver. Every visit is recorded and signed by our nurse, so you can see that the care you pay for is actually delivered. Caregivers never handle your parent's money.

10 signs your elderly parent needs help

Common questions