How to care for your elderly parents in Nigeria from abroad

Sending money home is not enough on its own

Money pays for food, drugs and help, but it does not tell you whether any of it reached your parent. Families often find out something went wrong weeks later: a fall nobody mentioned, tablets that ran out, a helper who stopped coming.

What you need alongside the money is information you can trust, from someone who is actually in the house.

Start with an honest picture of how they are doing

A video call rarely shows how the rest of the day goes. Before you arrange anything, find out:

• Who visits the house, how often, and who stays at night
• Which medicines they take, and who makes sure they are taken
• Whether they have fallen, even once, in the past year
• Whether they are eating properly and drinking enough
• Whether they can still wash, dress and use the toilet without help

If you can, ask their doctor or a trusted neighbour as well as your parent. Many older people play things down so their children do not worry.

Decide who your person on ground will be

Every family abroad needs one person on ground who is responsible. There are three usual options, and each can work.

A sibling or relative who lives nearby knows your parent and costs nothing, but they have their own job and family. The load often falls on one person, usually a daughter, and resentment can build quietly.

A helper you hire yourself can be affordable and flexible. The risk is that nobody checks their work, and if they leave you are back to square one.

An agency costs more, but should give you vetted staff, cover when someone is off, and someone to hold responsible. Ask how they supervise their staff as well as who they send.

If you hire someone yourself

Plenty of families hire directly and it works well. It works best when you treat it like a proper job from the start.

• See their ID and meet a guarantor in person
• Call at least two past employers yourself
• Write down the duties, hours, days off and pay
• Pay on the same date every month, and on time
• Never let money for the household pass through them
• Ask a relative or neighbour to drop in unannounced now and then
• Agree who covers when they are sick or travelling

Helpers often leave because pay is low or late, or because they are left alone with too much. Fair, punctual pay and someone they can call for help are the cheapest way to keep a good person.

When Mum or Dad refuses help

Many parents do not want a stranger in the house, and many refuse to move abroad. Both are understandable. It is their home and their independence.

• Start small: a few visits a week for company and shopping, not full care
• Let them meet the person before the first visit
• Ask someone they respect to speak to them, such as their doctor or a close friend
• Frame it as help for you, so you can worry less, rather than help for them

Plan for an emergency before it happens

Emergencies are hardest to manage from another time zone. Put this list together now and share it with everyone involved:

• The nearest hospital that can admit an older patient, and its phone number
• An ambulance or emergency number that works for their address
• Who holds their medical records and list of medicines
• Who can reach the house within an hour, day or night
• How money for a hospital deposit can be paid quickly, since many private hospitals ask for one before treatment

Keep the whole family on one record

Family WhatsApp groups fill up with second-hand news and worry. Agree on one written record that everyone can see: visits, medicines, meals, falls, doctor appointments. When siblings argue, facts help.

Where Home Care Nigeria fits

We started Home Care Nigeria for families who cannot be there. Our caregivers visit or live in, a named registered nurse reviews every visit report, and the whole family reads the signed report online. If a caregiver has not clocked in within an hour of a shift starting, we are alerted and arrange cover.

We are one option among several. Whatever you choose, run through the checks in this guide first.

Common questions